Pandemonium.

I haven’t been applying nail polish for a month already. When I tried using them just now, the paint started to have bubbles. Maybe because of the wind from the fan above me? Is that even responsible for it?

Just today as well, I’ve reopened Adobe Photoshop. I haven’t used it since the school year started. I just usually edit the color of my pictures in Adobe Lightroom.

I’ve been noticing little details about me that starts drifting away, like those two I mentioned. I don’t know. I think a part of me just wants to move away from how I used to be. Ironic how these little things actually has a big impact on me. Or maybe because I also want to go back to how I was before.

Last Friday, we had a debate competition inside the class. Our professor invited two debaters who both graduated with honors in UST’s Graduate School. They also finished their Masteral there. We talked about Mideo Cruz’ Poleteismo. I was part of the opposition. I was even chosen as the Leader of the Opposition. I was beyond nervous because I was to compete with the president of the class, a speaker who’s fluent in English and an Assumptionista. I get it, she’s better than me. After all the speeches and the deliberation, the affirmative team won. Score was 2-1. That one point was from me. I won over the Prime Minister (the leader of the affirmative, the Assumptionista). I also got to be the 2nd Best Speaker, tied with the Deputy Prime Minister. The best debater of course was given to the Prime Minister.

6 years ago, I started debating. We won from all the first years, even the star section lost. And first time since I started college that I was “awarded” for something, I believe, I do best.

Yes I want to change, but I surely don’t want to be a totally different person. I want to learn how to take the best photographs but I still want to be able to experiment the looks via Photoshop. I want to have clean looking nail polish but I want to be able to play with different colors once in a while.

All I’m saying is, if you’re not getting it because I feel you won’t, I still want to be the old me but at least change the things I have to and improve the things I should.

P.S. I now know what tattoo to have, I just wish nobody copies this:

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