Notes During Discussion

The hardest thing about lying is knowing the truth. That dreading feeling to somehow give a clue about what is true. And what sucks more is when you lie to yourself.

I don’t know why but however I try to bring back the old me, I still fail. I can’t just put back everything. I sometimes can adjust to the new me but I still long to my old self.

Today at 11:30 AM, I’ll be having a long quiz in my Sociology class. I told myself that this long weekend should be about reviewing. But I ended up cramming and not being able to review. I tell myself I can review. I tell myself I cannot. If I try and stay up for this exam, I know I’ll be able to somehow get through it.

But once I get hold of the paper, and see how thick (I have a handout which has 35 pages. ONE HANDOUT!) it is, I just want to leave the mess on the floor and climb to my bed to sleep.

When I ask myself about my capabilities, sometimes I wonder if I’m telling the truth or not.

And the worst part about this one is, I skipped some classes making me left out with all the highlighted notes I should’ve written during the discussion.

Somebody please kill me now.

But I am writing this right now to remind myself that this will be the last time it will happen. Not anymore! Last time, Jamie. Last time.


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