May the force be ever in my favor.

I am the worst blog introduction–er ever. I would always have something to say in my first few sentences and it won’t even lead to what I really want to talk about. Of course, it is hard to figure out why I’m talking about this now. Prior to deleting and typing the words before this one I put “While I was reading Will Grayson, Will Grayson I thought about writing…” Of course I thought about writing. I wouldn’t be in this dialog box and typing this shit out if I didn’t intend to write in the first place.

You see my frustration right there? It’s just that I want to be really good at this. A writing seminar I attended in high school taught us that the first sentence, or the introduction if I may say, is as important as the body of your message. Everything, as a matter of fact, is entirely related to its importance. Why am I even trying to say this.

The said book I was reading a few hours ago, which I finished immediately because I was so bored out of my wits, had a different vibe. Different in a way that I wanted to read aloud (which is what I did) because most of the lines and exchanges of conversations were so realistic. Most of the characters were in a state of frustration. And I just had to blurt out the lines straight from my voice box. Yes, with feelings and the drama that came along with it.

Or maybe because I feel Tiny Cooper. Like how comfortable I am with my large body but people seem to make me feel bad about myself. And that I can’t be okay all of a sudden because what they think of me is never going to be in my control. And I see a side of me that they never see because they’re stuck to what they are used to.

Now I don’t even know where this is headed. I really should be asleep by now. I am submitting myself to the blog gods and goddesses, may the odds be ever in my favor. (I originally typed “May the force be ever in my favor.” A little Star Wars “may the force be with you” and Hunger Games intertwined. Ha ha!)


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