Standing, frozen

As complicated as it already is, I’m getting this feeling again. The one where something keeps holding you back.

I am totally happy with Journalism. But I still ask myself, what if?

What if I studied well and didn’t fail? What if I only had the allowed deficiencies and was able to continue?

My friends were discussing about their Media Law cases and I just had to close my eyes to stop my tears from falling. I hate that kind of pain. The kind that strangles you to keep yourself from looking like a loser. I didn’t want to stop their discussion by showing what I was feeling.

I closed my eyes. Wished I wasn’t there. Breathed in. Breathed out. Opened my eyes. Acted as if I was sleepy. Wiped my tears.

I knew that even if I didn’t get to tell them, I was going to be okay. Because despite feeling out of place, I was still there. I was still a part of them.

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