A distant memory

Dear Candy,


As I am writing this down, I am waiting for my friend to be done with his haircut. I saw a familiar word lying on the couch. It was THE magazine.

You’ve changed a lot; from the alternate color choices used in your name, to the layout of the content inside. By the way, I am currently looking at an issue published in April of  2013. I’m pretty sure there are more changes I haven’t seen.

I feel sad because I wasn’t part of the 150th issue. I stopped buying when I entered college. I felt like you were too high school for me.

And high school it was, like looking back into a distant memory.

I see the Candy staff, some I saw just now. Marla is the current Editor-In-Chief. I remember loving every bit of the editor’s note from Mia F. (I was still in grade school then, my sister was the one buying the magazine) to Inez’ time. Hers was my last.

Flipping through the pages is like bumping into an old friend. I recognize it, but something I can’t pinpoint makes it look like a stranger. The choice of clothing, I guess? Or maybe the color?

I’ve thought endlessly about writing to you when I was still a collector. The excitement, the thrill… But I never got to do it. Oddly enough, I’m writing to you now. Now that I am not sure I’m worthy enough to even be called a Candy girl.

You’ve taught me many things. Do-It-Yourself manicure and pedicure helped me get through an impromptu hang out with friends. The prom special aided me with tips I can use. (Mine sucked because I had no date but why would that matter if I had my friends who made my night, right?) I also learned from you that no matter what you do, change is inevitable. (Katie’s Diary was eventually upgraded into a blog.)

Candy, you were also there when I thought life couldn’t get any worse. I would always come across an article about problems that made mine a walk in the park. An editorial about a cancer patient stuck with me, I don’t exactly remember her name but on top of my head I think it was Noelle. She lived her life happy and with a smile on her face despite what she went through. Her life made me rethink my priorities and wants in life.

I’ve never had a serious boyfriend, and you supplied me with guys I can gush endlessly over with. Candy is not Candy without the Cuties. (I’m pretty sure a lot of people agree with me on this.)

But the best lesson you had imparted me with? Never stop believing. I was rejected twice for the Council of Cool. I was not trained yet at that time. My vocabulary was not wide enough. In short, and it felt extremely painful at that time, I wasn’t fit to be a part of you.

Fast forward to two years after tweeting Mimi (I heard she’s not part of Candy anymore, I feel so sad because she’s my fave) that I wanted to be a trainee for you when the day comes, packed with a lot of drills and exercises from my professors in college, I will take my shot and apply as an intern.

Will I get in? Will I not? There’s only one solution to that question. I wouldn’t know if don’t try, right?



Always and forever be a Candy Girl,


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