Looking Back

On Senti Saturdays, I try to revive, resuscitate, bring back a blog post that had been drafted a couple of months or years back. I currently have 30 unpublished articles (including the one below) that are waiting to be edited, continued, or just simply publicized.

This one was written on October 21, 2012:

Looking back, I would like to think I was a cool kid in high school. Or in my old school for that matter because I have only been admitted to two schools my entire life, including where I am enrolled now. I would also like to think I was a badass, or I was one of those who people looked at whenever I passed by (not because I’m pretty but because of possible authoritative feeling), or somebody who was so good at everything people thought she’s so witty and intelligent. When in reality, in high school, I wasn’t at all cool.

I wasn’t a badass.

And people didn’t care much if I was in the vicinity.

I somehow managed to get away from breaking a rule or two. But I never cut classes or did something that could trigger a suspension. Except for my tardiness, maybe.

There were times when I slacked off doing homeworks or quizzes but I balanced it out by reciting. It was unusual for the teachers when I don’t raise my hand or say something for that period, whether there’s a need for an explanation or just basically asking questions.

I think the only reason why teachers picked me as a leader was because of my sister, who was their student seven years my senior. Familiarity with my surname because my sister used to be the president of their class and was also the head of the Theatre Ensemble. (Oh boy, I’d love to have her acting skills!)

But maybe we all felt like we were rebels one way or another in that part of our life. We were experimental after all. Chasing every misdeed and misfortune and getting all miserable when in fact, it was all because of ourselves⎯because we long so much for uncertainty and adventures, for unpredictability and risky escapes.

And looking back, even with the realization that we were not the people we thought we were, it still feels good to be able to go through that trail of thought we were once tricked to believe.

How about you, do you like looking back? *wink*

photo by Andree Brown from Unsplash.com

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