Just Maybe

Maybe I need an outlet. Maybe this was it? A question, I know. Maybe I was destined to write my own feelings; not eat them out, but share it to the world. Maybe I wasn’t as great as I thought I was with composing such pieces but maybe, just maybe, my emotions are enough to withdraw these write-ups I’ve been meaning to write. I don’t even know what I’m talking about right now. A mix of emotions from seeing wedding videos, classmates posting their graduation photos, and my own frustrations in life. And then some more. But really, here I am, writing; as if testing out what I already can do. I don’t want to be judged for lacking the ability (if I’m really missing them) when I finally see my name on TOMCAT’s website. Oh, God! I’m both excited and nervous for this. But maybe I should care less.

How do you confront somebody? How do you do it when you know that what you might hear can and will affect who you are, how you treat that somebody? I wish I never found out. I wish I can un-see something. Un-read a message. Erase a memory. I’m already feeling down with this life, why do I need to suffer some more? I just really wish I’m wrong. I wish I misinterpreted what I saw. I don’t even know what to think anymore.